An Ending To A Great Run

On the 16th of May in 2019, Taylor's Business School Society held its commencement event to celebrate the end of my team's run of the club. To this day I've never experienced graduation but this feels bigger than that personally.

Every Ending Makes Way For Greater Beginnings

- Holly Scherer

The day started out like any other TBSS event day, chaotic. I had a tough mid-term at noon and I didn't spend enough time preparing for it. I know I should go through the usual pre-event check-ups but maybe just this once I'll let things slide and just hope everything is put in place. I want to delve into my thoughts about finally closing this chapter as the president of the business school society but for now, let's just focus on Ratnes's economic theories.

The First Crisis

Coming out of the exam room felt amazing until I was hit with a million notifications. The dining session had issues, our sponsor is anxious and we can't confirm the attendance of some people. I wanted to have a fit but then I remember this was probably gonna be the last time I'll get to use my hustling skill to get shit sorted.

I guess this was what Ted (from How I Met Your Mother) was talking about, no matter how terrible things are when you're about to end a significant relationship you'll cherish every last painful second of it. Luckily by this point, I've dealt with quite possibly every "what if" scenario from past events. A direct call to the facilities manager, a simple text to the sponsorers and a threatening email to some kids, and boom it was all good, for now. Today was going to be long and very emotional but all I could think of was the moment when I finally end my speech. Unfortunately, I haven't even written down a sentence.

Ticking Time Bomb I knew that once we started setting up, everything would just start rolling until we finally turn off the lights, both the venue's and our run as directors. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long to write my closing speech. TBSS has basically been a part of my entire university experience thus far. Moreover, this was my last semester at Taylor's and soon I'll fly to the UK and experience a whole different set of challenges.

I get sentimental because it's truly shaped who I am today, having escaped a very toxic high school and pushing myself harder than I ever imagined to get here, it was all so that one day I'll finally feel like I've accomplished something. That I've proven myself better than that pitiful teenager. There was never graduation for me in between school and uni, so THIS was my moment.

I kept thinking about the two presidents who came before me and how messed up they got. Helen warned me the same would happen if I accepted the role, she was just worried. But somehow, someway here we are at the end. Everything was changing for the club after today, new BODs, new advisor, new business school deans. I worry for the kids but am confident that no matter what we've fixed the past issues with the society and they're starting with a profitable TBSS. I mean for the first time in the club's history not only do we have a major bank sponsoring us but we actually have someone footing the bill for a commencement event.

I start writing and decide to skip lunch. I felt too anxious, excited and a bit sad, I need to calm myself cause no matter what we still have one last hurrah to execute. The slides were finally complete, everyone texts me a final "let's go" and I put on my favorite suit. Before I leave, I sent Aliah (PR Director) to print a photo of us BODs to sign, a last memento if you will. As I walk out of my Airbnb, I decide to throw away the speech, I knew that when the time comes I'll say the right things and if anything who doesn't love a spontaneous moment.

A Bad Start

I arrive at the venue to see Harith in a panic, it seemed that our hall was locked up. At this point I'm not even shocked, I wanted things sorted out and luckily I had a pretty good relationship with the facilities management. We agree to move venues which in the end worked out better since it was nearer to the dining area. I was sweating profusely from moving things across the halls when our catering arrived. After lifting more things in the intense Malaysian heat it seemed that the heavy lifting was all done.

I guess I wasn't the only one being nostalgic cause right before the facilities management people left they brought up an old story of the same exact situation happening to us once before. He told me that he remembered this story particularly because of how kind we were to them despite the issues created. There's a lot of stuck-up people here who never respect these workers but we knew better than that. Earlier in the week, we had already sent a final thank you gift to the manager herself, she's basically been there through every (and there was a lot) crisis we had. I was happy that for once they didn't send anyone to oversee us and supplied extra amounts of things we needed, something VERY rare for any event at Taylor's. If this was their send-off for us, it's one that I deeply appreciated.

While trying to dry myself we went through the event procedures, since this was meant to induct the new BODs they were gonna be in charge of executing the whole thing. They seemed ready and hungry for their new roles, especially Hritik. I felt a bit of jealousy, to see them all fresh and just at the beginning of things. I remind myself that this was the reason I needed to finish my final year in the UK. I've fulfilled everything that I could in Taylor's, it's time to start that new chapter.

Today's event was going to have people from every cohort of TBSS attend. Not only that, past collaborators, lecturers, faculty office workers, and even the dean was coming. I wanted this to be our swan song but you can't really bow to the audience when half of the cast is missing. Apparently, there was a huge traffic issue and everyone was going to be late, I didn't want people to constantly come in and out the door throughout the event. Since we were already calling people to tell em' the new venue, we might as well tell them we're starting a little late.

20 Minutes Felt Like 20 Seconds

Once everyone from the core team arrived (anju, sya, farah, harith, zah, alia & aqilah) I was ready to finally end this. People started filling up the hall, I introduced our sponsor to the new president and event director and we were ready to begin. I sat next to batrisyia looking slightly sick, it was the first time I left the reigns and let the new kids execute the entire thing. I couldn't concentrate on anything at that point, everything was background noise. I only thought about the past thus far and letting it go but what of the future. What if this is my peak and things won't get any better, what if I fall on my face in the UK and end up having to redo an entire sem back in Malaysia.

I stopped for a second and looked around, from my seniors to our advisor, even some of the useless BODs there was pride and joy on their faces. Tomorrow is a very scary world but right now I'm happy just to be where I am. It all came back to me like a supercut of the last 2 years with TBSS. The pain, the laughter, the development, everything just started flowing and slowly in my mind, I structure my speech.

I went on stage and gave a very informal talk, some funny story here, some crazy numbers there and end with a quote. It was simple but filled to the brim with some great throwbacks. People didn't want to hear me talk about "synergy" or "efficiency", they wanted some realism of what it is to devote yourself to one goal and how it feels to finally achieve it. Of course, since we're still a business club and were sponsored I had to also throw a quick shoutout on how everything was relevant to the bank we're working with "wink_wink". Things moved fast after that, my team surprised me with a bouquet of flowers that truly silenced me, I don't think I've ever been this quiet since I was in my mother's womb. People gave short goodbyes, got given their cert by the dean, one very typical speech about success through devotion as a corporate slave by the sponsorer and the event closed. I couldn't really process the whole thing but having us physically move from one side of the hall to the other after taking our completion cert helped me comprehend that everything was truly over. As the camera flashed taking the last group photo of us BODs I finally felt at peace with saying goodbye.

Random Is As Random Does

Since there was still extra time before dinner we held an impromptu networking session. As "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang played I greeted each person who attended, getting the usual "we're proud" and "congrats". It felt good but seeing my team happy and getting a proper send-off really made my day. Some of my friends had also attended, I drop my professional hat for a moment and had a dank sharing session. I don't know if it's just me but I can't "work" in front of them. They brought up how this was a real mix of people which I truly didn't realize at first. We had seniors who were in the workforce, a couple of uni admin people, students from every stage of studies and lecturers who honestly don't seem too happy since their boss, the dean, was there. Yet somehow everyone is kinda mixing it up.

Finally, it was time to eat, I was kind of split in terms of who to seat with. Luckily the dean and sponsorer had to leave so they were out of the equation. But I had to choose between my friends, my former team (the seniors), my current team, or the future team. Before I could even make a decision Kerry (a senior) pulled me to my former team's table. It was fine since my current team and I still had a Ramadhan buffet and Sunway lagoon planned out for later. My friends and I had also planned to go out after this. In a way, it all randomly worked out.

A little backstory here, before I was the president I was the secretary in the previous cohort. Let's just say it was a very troubled time for TBSS and things did not exactly end well. Remember the 2 failed presidents I mentioned, both were in this group. By some crazy luck, one of the failed presidents had come to this event, and we all were about to have dinner for the first time since we ended that run back in 2018. Nerves were at an all-time high.

Coincidentally this was the perfect last meal, here I am with a group of people who've moved past TBSS for over a year now. On one side we have someone whose dedication saved the club and is succeeding in her personal life. On the other, we have a black sheep. The conversation circled around my leadership of the club and how proud they were at what we've accomplished. Here and there we would make fun of when all of us were in the same cohort. But when talking about what all of us plan to do next there's a distinct difference between the two sides.

From the black sheep, we got this pitch about how she was going to prove everyone wrong and beat all the unbeatable odds. While the good senior seemed laxer about her plans, she has a vision but she's not rushing to achieve it, there's no one left for her to prove wrong. I guess although I never really failed with TBSS I couldn't come to accept this tenure as an accomplishment but just a journey. I don't want to constantly be pushing 100% forever but at the same time will I ever accomplish anything if I don't.

After contemplating this for a few minutes I realized this was an accomplishment and I'm not going to be humble about it anymore. When I took up the reigns we were in severe debt and had pissed off too many people but through a lot of hard work, we've managed to rewrite the society's history. For once I actually feel accomplished, I feel like the next thing isn't going to be that hard but instead long or time-consuming. It may even take a year or two but the next thing I accomplish will be just as satisfying.

I guess it's still up to time to decide whether I'll be like the black sheep or the dedicated senior but for now I feel like I'm on top of the world. P.S: I was quickly humbled down when no one would take out the trash. Cleaner aqmal ready to serve, as always.